Tipping was simple just a few decades ago. You sat down at a restaurant, had someone take your order, and gave a tip as a gesture of appreciation. Nowadays, however, the situation is quite different. Customers are now met with tip solicitations everywhere fast food counters, self-service counters, name it leaving them confused, coerced, or even annoyed.
Why Tipping Feels Mandatory Today
Surveys confirm the shift in public sentiment. In a Pew Research Center poll, only 12% of adult Americans tip at fast-casual restaurants, even when digital displays now solicit it. Bankrate conducted a survey that had some further insight: Nearly 60% of Americans have a negative view of modern tipping, and most believe the expectations have gotten to the point where they are out of control. What was a rare gesture of thanks has evolved into an automatic expectation.
Experts attribute the change to both technology and social pressure. Michael Lynn, a professor of consumer behavior at Cornell University, elaborates that people are being asked to tip for situations that were never tip-worthy before, typically with more money than they expect. This “felt pressure” is responsible for most of today’s irritation. For most customers, it no longer becomes voluntary it becomes mandatory.
Adding to the complexity is tipping’s own history. It began as a way of ensuring promptness of service, with the acronym “TIP” for “to insure promptness.” Fast forward to the present, and tipping has gotten entangled in issues of fairness, pay, and etiquette at large. With more businesses employing digital reminders and more suggested tips, shoppers are left wondering: when is tipping required, and when is it just excessive?
The Pandemic and the Role of Technology
The tipping discussion cannot be avoided during the pandemic. At the time, everyone was tipping more generously, valuing the risk frontline workers were exposing themselves to. Customers rallied around small businesses, leaving outlandish tips on modest orders as an act of solidarity. Those acts kept restaurants running, but they also raised the benchmark of what many workers came to expect.
Even as the world has opened up again, businesses have been reluctant to back down from those higher tipping norms. Many workers, particularly in restaurants and cafes, still rely heavily on tips for their pay. To customers, the generosity that came so naturally during crisis has now become punitive in everyday life.
Technology has amplified this issue. Point-of-sale systems like Square and Toast make it effortless for businesses to add tipping prompts to every transaction. Whether you’re buying a sandwich or a cup of coffee, you’re presented with buttons offering to add 15%, 20%, or even 25% with a single tap. While convenient, these options often catch customers off guard.
Etiquette experts note an important subtlety: a tip prompt is a recommendation, not a mandate. Thomas Farley, whom many have labeled “Mister Manners,” notes that tipping decisions must be determined by the level of service provided, not by the presence of a digital prompt. Still, the psychological effect of being asked especially in the presence of the cashier can be powerful. An unhibited choice is now social performance.
Why Some Believe Takeout Deserves a Tip
Supporters of tipping on takeout argue that even if you’re not sitting down for service, effort still goes into preparing your order. Workers take the order, communicate with the kitchen, carefully pack it, and ensure all items are included. For this unseen labor, a small gratuity is seen as a fair acknowledgment.
H.G. Parsa, a hospitality professor, just says: “Even takeout is some form of service, and we should be tipping those employees.” Beyond good manners, tipping is the only source of revenue for many food service employees. For them, any little bit helps, especially in a time when restaurants are still challenged with staffing.
Examples of pandemics bring this kindness alive. In Florida, Ricardo Lory, who began a takeout catering business, recalls people leaving $40 or $60 tips on $15 orders just to help his family. In Dallas, a restaurant manager told how customers tipped 20–25% automatically when the company started serving frontline workers. These kinds of instances brought alive the manner in which tipping could be an exercise in community solidarity that assisted local businesses in getting through tough times.
Even under non-emergency circumstances, some customers tip takeout out of appreciation. Regular customers form relationships with employees, and tipping contributes to good will. As one New York diner explained, “Working with the public isn’t easy, and if that’s the way I can thank them, I don’t mind doing it.” Tipping takeout is service to many, yet it’s also a sign of appreciation.
The Case Against Universal Tipping
Opposed to those arguments are patrons who view tipping as being connected with full table service not the speedy handoffs. To them, a tip is meant to be a reward for individualized attention, such as when a server asks how your meal is, refills your beverage, or nods along to special requests. Scooping up a pre-packaged order just doesn’t meet that benchmark.
Others point out as well that workers in takeout establishments, unlike tipped servers, are usually paid at least minimum wage. Some states pay even more, the question being: why must consumers subsidize employee wages when businesses are responsible for paying employees a fair wage? As one reviewer put it, “Why should I pay $18 for curry just because the restaurant can’t be bothered to pay their employees a living wage?”
Among the most confusing tipping inflation cases is in self-check lanes. Those consumers who bag their own groceries or scan their own products typically are met with tips requests, confusing most of them as to whom the money goes to. Even tipping gurus have admitted perplexity with this habit, deeming it an abuse of what gratuities represent.
Another popular nuisance is the “double dip,” in which an automatic gratuity is added to the bill but a payment screen nevertheless asks for another tip. Etiquette expert Jodi Smith notes that anything that is charged before the food arrives is technically technically a service fee, not a tip. Asking for yet another tip beyond that degrades the initial purpose of tipping, making it more of an expression of thanks to what equates to a hidden tax.
Ultimately, anti-tippers who argue against tipping on takeout are arguing that taking the practice too far dilutes its worth. Where tips become mandatory in all purchases, they’re not so much a gesture of thanks for exemplary service they’re merely another cost of living.
Finding Balance: A Personal Tipping Playbook
With opinions so divided, how do customers navigate this new landscape? The answer lies in balance, consistency, and personal values. Instead of reacting to every situation with guilt or frustration, many etiquette experts recommend making your own rules.
For takeout, a good standard is 10–15% for standard orders, and closer to 20% for large or complex ones. If the service personnel went out of their way doubled checking an order, adding in extras, or being genuinely friendly a richer tip seems appropriate. If it’s just a pre-packaged bag dropped over the counter, forgoing a gratuity is no problem.
For coffeehouses, consider whether you are just dropping by for a fast drink or sticking around to be served at the table. In the latter case, tipping is not necessary; in the latter, leaving something small is a nice gesture. For self-serve machines or store buys, don’t feel obligated to tip at all.
Most of all, remember that tipping should be voluntary, not mandatory. If a screen asks you to tip 20% and the service is not deserving of it in your view, follow your conscience. Press “no tip” without guilt. As etiquette expert Diane Gottsman advises, “Simply hit the custom tip or no tip if you feel strongly.”
On a larger level, tipping culture also reminds us of issues regarding fair wages for service industry workers. Individual choices aren’t going to fix systemic issues, but they can provoke questions of whether tips are supplanting fair pay. As customers, we have the right to expect honesty and fairness from merchants not to be forced to tip at all turns.
Ultimately, the secret is to stay in tune. Let generosity flow when service is truly deserving, and be just as willing to say no when it’s not. By establishing your own limits and tipping intentionally, you’re not just making better money choices for yourself, you’re also preserving the integrity of what gratuity always should have been: an honest thank-you, not another tax.
