Beyond the Before and After: Navigating Judgment, Secrecy, and Self After Weight Loss Surgery

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Beyond the Before and After: Navigating Judgment, Secrecy, and Self After Weight Loss Surgery
Beyond the Before and After: Navigating Judgment, Secrecy, and Self After Weight Loss Surgery
How Remi Bader Became the Queen of Realistic Clothing Hauls—And TikTok …, Photo by eonline.com, is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

Our lives seem to be under constant surveillance, especially our bodies, which are often judged. People often focus on your weight, and I have experienced this feeling firsthand for many years. My weight fluctuated, and this feeling was both public and private, confusing.

Undergoing sleeve gastrectomy surgery was a major decision. I quickly lost nearly 100 pounds. This huge change was a secret for a while. Only a few friends knew the truth. Later, I regained some of the weight.I wrote an essay and shared my story publicly. Most people were supportive, and I am grateful for that.

Soon, old habits slowly crept back in. My struggle with food got worse. Food was like a toxic ex, constantly tempting me. It offered sweets and whispered sweet nothings to me. My jeans used to fit, but now I can’t zip them up. I told myself it was okay to wear a larger size.

This is the golden age of weight loss. Advice is everywhere. This way of eating has become the moral code. No excuses is the main message. If you fail, it’s your fault. Slow metabolism is ignored, and genes are no longer an excuse.

These comments may seem small, but they had a huge impact on me. They made me feel like others had labeled me a failure. I believed I could never succeed. When I ate potato chips, people thought I was being negative. When I lost weight, they pointed and stared at me. I felt like a strange experiment in their eyes. There was no space for me to be myself.

Doctor exam
African-American black doctor man. – Jay Harold, Photo by jay-harold.com, is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

Before the surgery, I always acted very brave, telling my friends that I had no issues with my body. In reality, many of my friends didn’t even know about it. This was to avoid being judged later on. Now I understand why celebrities use Ozempic in secret. Why explain your health choices to strangers? Explaining why you stopped taking something is incredibly difficult.

In the years following the surgery, things became complicated. Seeing the people who truly supported me was painful. Some people never wanted me to succeed. My old doctor was a plus-sized woman. She once said we would fight the scale together before the surgery. When she saw me wearing tight jeans during a post-surgery follow-up, she already knew my secret.

There’s another truth I’ve recently come to understand. Losing weight doesn’t erase your past; your struggle with food will always be with you. The judgments you made in the past are now a part of who you are. Those experiences have shaped who you are today, and I suggest you face the entire journey honestly.

Beyond the external changes, the journey after weight loss is even more profound. Especially after surgery, it brings significant internal changes, along with some challenges. People are often reluctant to talk about these things. Physical changes are obvious, yes. But beneath the surface, there are complex emotional and psychological aspects. These aspects also require our attention and understanding.

losing weight journey
Bariatric Surgery Before and After – Anita S. | Lap-Band Los Angeles, Photo by lapbandla.com, is licensed under CC Zero

An important point that is often overlooked is the potential risk of post-operative depression. Although this is not a formal diagnosis, it is often described as “post-operative low mood.” This highlights that major life events (such as surgery) can indeed be a trigger for low mood or depressive episodes.

Research suggests that this is quite common. Studies report rates between 13% and 47%. People who have had surgery may experience this. This wide range is due to the variability of surgeries and individual circumstances. However, it underscores the importance of being aware of this possibility.

Why does this happen? The original information provides several reasons. Lack of adequate support may leave people feeling isolated. This sense of isolation is particularly pronounced during vulnerable and transitional periods. Financial concerns, such as surgery costs or time off work, can add to stress. Post-surgery discomfort and pain, as part of the recovery process, can also take an emotional toll.

depression after surgery
Depression and Isolation – New Method Wellness, Photo by newmethodwellness.com, is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

Signs of feeling low after surgery look like other depressions. It is not only just a short bad mood people may feel. The material lists some main signs to watch for carefully. One is a total sense of hopelessness inside. Even when surgery went well, and recovery gets better each day. This feeling confuses people especially when others expect happiness.

Anxiety symptoms are also very common then. The time after surgery has lots of unknown things ahead. Things like getting better steps and needing to fit into a new way of living. All this can make feelings of anxiety much stronger. Changes in eating habits and sleep also happen typical. This looks like eating way more or less, or sleeping problems. Maybe sleeping hardly at all, or sleeping too many hours.

Other signs may be trouble focusing your mind. Or difficulty remembering different stuff each day. This makes following recovery steps hard, or even daily living simpler. Feeling irritable is common because of discomfort and sadness. Plus being frustrated with healing makes tempers shorter often. Finally, a deep sadness and not liking things you once did. These round out the common feelings people might have later.

lack of social support
D8. Multiple Causes of Increase in Teen Suicides Since 2008, Photo by substackcdn.com, is licensed under CC Zero

One-on-one conversations with others are highly recommended, especially when feeling down. Talking to a counselor or psychiatrist can provide professional help. They will offer guidance and professional support tailored to your needs at the time.

Certain types of therapy are highly effective in this area. Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) is a common and effective treatment for alleviating low mood. Research shows that CBT helps heart surgery patients recover and is also beneficial for post-surgery recovery from conditions such as endometriosis. CBT works by helping you identify and change negative thought patterns and behaviors.

Eating a nutritious diet is crucial for recovery. A balanced diet supports physical recovery and mental health. It is recommended to eat fruits, healthy fats, lean meats, vegetables, and whole grains. This may help reduce pain and lower feelings of depression.

Adequate rest is the foundation of recovery. The body needs sufficient time and energy to heal. Prioritizing sleep is not a luxury but an essential component of the recovery process.

talk therapy
flat illustration of people talking to each other simple design 7719503 …, Photo by vecteezy.com, is licensed under CC BY-SA 4.0

Taking antidepressant medications is also an option. If prescribed by a doctor, these medications can help manage low moods. Anxiety issues can also be alleviated in this way. Additionally, non-pharmacological pain management methods, such as relaxation therapy, can be beneficial. For example, cold compresses, heat packs, or massage may be effective if approved by a doctor. This

Overall, understanding these deeper aspects of life after surgery is crucial. It is important to recognize the possibility of depression, the risks involved, and the importance of seeking help. This not only focuses on physical recovery outcomes but also acknowledges the existence of emotional and psychological dimensions. Understanding mental health is not a sign of failure but is essential. It is part of integrating the surgical experience into the broader narrative of one’s life. Seeking the necessary help will enable you to live a better and happier life.

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